25 October, 2016


Some Times Cheers-Some Times Tears

 My Name is Chandra B.K , I was born in the year 1977 in the district, in the small place called Pachla, Dailekh. I spent my childhood in that village. When I was 7 years old, my family moved to kailali in the tarai region. We had a small but happy family. My sister and I were enrolled in a school nearby and our education continued. My childhood continued to normal way and began to dream of bright future. But the fate had something else in store for me because I was born as a girl, or should  I say that I had a curse  or should I consider it as my ill fate , My father announced my engagement to the boy who lived in the same village. It is a known fact that the family of a girl always looks for a good family for their daughter but they never understand that their daughter is supposed to spend the rest of her life with the person but not the family. When I was in grade 7, the boy's family pressurized us for the marriage but my father refused as he thought that I was too young to get married.  But strangely, the boy I was engaged, started living with us. He continued to stay us for 2 years, and villager are started to blame me for having a bad character, and finally I was forced to get married to him. That was the beginning of my terrible life.
After just 1 month of marriage, my husband married another women and left for Mumbai. At a very young age, I was forced to face ill behavior of my in-laws and my husband's steps wife. But the girl could not bear the harassment of my in-law and she left home after 4 months, but didn't have guts to leave the house. I passed the test exam in grade 10, but when I was about to appear in the SLC exam, my husband returned from Mumbai and he pressurized me to make a choice between him and my education. Perhaps it was the biggest mistake of my life that I chose him over my studies and went to Mumbai with him. After 4 years, my husband married yet another woman; probably even the gods were against me as I couldn't give birth to child even after being married for 7 years. I felt helpless and continued to stay with my husband's mean family. Once again the new girl could not bear the cruelties of my in-laws and she left after 4 months. After 3 years, I went to Mumbai with my husband.
Fortunately the employers were kind enough to help me to go to the doctor for my checkup. It was diagnosed that there was a problem in my uterus and I had to undergo a surgery. I had started to have high hopes for a child, I had thought that despite the lack of support from my husband and his family I would be content with a child. But unfortunately, I was diagnosed with HIV. My husband convinced me that we will not disclose this to anybody in our family. Despite such situation, my husband got married for the fourth time and took his new wife to Mumbai. Everyone blame me for being infertile, there were many times when I wanted to commit suicide. But I gathered some courage and started to look where I could treat HIV. I came across an organization named Nawa Jivan Ekata, where I received counseling and referral for treatment. The president of that organization suggested me to go to Shakti Milan Samaj. I left for Kathmandu with three other women in 2008. My friends were talking and laughing but I was in despair as I felt like my life was turning out to be worthless.
I reached Shakti Milan Samaj after travelling for 2 days, I felt like I came home finally. Shakti Milan Samaj provided me with love, support and counseling. I saw a few rays of hopes when I was selected for library management and printing press training. I devoted myself to the training and graduated in second division. After training I was employed in printing house, but the salary wasn't enough to support to my living. But I was later appointed as a supervisor in the crisis care centre of Shakti Milan Samaj. I felt like Shakti Milan Samaj provided me with all the love and support that I never received from my family, husband or my parents. Shakti Milan Samaj has given me the love and support I have never acquired from my family.  Shakti Milan Samaj has proven to be source of love and inspiration and I pray that no matter what, Shakti Milan Samaj always remains as a fountain of compassion and motivation. On this note I would like to end my story.