18 November, 2016



I am Anup Rai (name changed), a permanent resident of Biratnagar and now I am living in Kathmandu with my mother and younger sister. Four years ago my elder sister died in mysterious circumstance. When I look back to my past, I feel terribly horrified. Before our life was extremely hard and couldn't realize and expect that our life could be as easy as today. Today we are enthusiastic about our life.

My father was a driver. He had frequently visited India as part of his job. We were very small then when father passed away of unknown disease. Very lately we came to know that father has died of HIV/AIDS. I still vividly remember that due to our poor economic status, raising three kids had been a very difficult for my mother. After mother got employed in a local school, our life had got big sign of relief. On being sick for a long time, my mother visited a doctor and to add fuel to our misery she was tested HIV positive. But she didn't tell us about this. She had perceived HIV/AIDS as a second name of death due to her poor level of understanding. On the one side, terrified felling of nearing death, constant worry for our future and on the other upon being fired from a school job for HIV status, our life once again reeled under full of scarcity, melancholy and uncertainty. Thus life became once again intolerably hard. Mother in company of elder sister headed to Kathmandu for future treatment with full of uncertainty. She visited a number of organizations for help but in vain in receiving meaningful help. She finally went to the knock the door of Shakti Milan Samaj and then on wards our life took a meaningful turn. Mother brought my younger sister and me to Kathmandu. Same like a saying that goes like this '' a brighter day after a long dark night'', Shakti Milan Samaj appeared as a savior. It returned our isolated family and sprinkled the petals of hope and happiness in our long suffered family.

Today I am studying at bachelor level as a result of continuous support of this organization. I have also got an opportunity to earn an experience of working as a treasurer of child club that the organization initiated for HIV and AIDS infected and affected children. The support of Shakti Milan Samaj and my education and skill have earned a job for me at a social organization. Shakti Milan Samaj, hence, has played a large role in shaping my present.

My mother has been serving Shakti Milan Samaj as a staff member. My mother is aging day by day and consequently she is also being exhausted by HIV virus with every passing day. This terribly saddens me. I know without an adequate rest and nutritional food, her ARV medicine doesn't work effectively. These days I have, therefore, accelerated my efforts to give a better care to my mother. Twist and turns, ups and down that I have been confronting since my early childhood have most probably contributed to induce maturity in me even at this adolescent age. I always ask myself why a social organization like Shakti Milan Samaj, which is established by HIV infected women themselves to work for the benefit of infected women and children, is not receiving a sufficient fund whereas huge volume of fund for HIV/AIDS has been entering our country.

I have seen a number of infected and affected children like me and infected women like my mother helplessly waiting at the door of Shakti Milan Samaj expecting some relief for their unbearably suffered life. Before they suffered and crushed by our society and dragged to this situation where they have kept a hope of receiving an adequate help and ultimately being able to lead a normal life. I know things will not turn up as they suppose and as a result they will be again cheated and miserably hurt because those claiming to be working for them( infected women) have a miserable record of translating commitment into action. Therefore I feel I have indeed grown up enough to understanding the plays being played behind the curtain in our name. I have firmly made up my mind to work with Shakti Milan Samaj to put a real end to the injustice committed by the society as well as stakeholders to the infected women and infected and affected children.